So, I know it’s been a while since I updated my blog. A lot of things have changed. I’m a mother now. Unemployed for the first time in seven years due to being pregnant during the pandemic. It’s weird. I thought I would get so much more done as far as writing and marketing my book but so far being a mother has taken all of my energy and attention most days.
I am finishing up a contemporary romance novel. Just two and a half chapters and the epilogue left to go. I completed NaNoWriMo even after giving birth and with what I’ve done over the last few months, the novel is sitting at a little under 70k words. (YAY ME!!)
On top of that I’ve started a short story that will only be eight chapters that started off as an emoji story, something my husband and I used to do back when I was working. A dear friend of mine and I are planning a supernatural anthology later on, so watch for news on that.
Anyway, it’s been almost a year since I officially published Obsidian Tiger and it still feels like a mistake to have published it. The novel was finished back in 2016, but after having it looked over by a beta reader, it was revealed that maybe it wasn’t as good as I thought it was. So many changes were made and I’m not sure it was for the better.
Will I ever feel good about it? I don’t know. I’m actually thinking of going back and editing it again and releasing it as a second edition. Maybe then I’ll be more motivated to market the book. But as of right now, I’m not sure that I actually like the version I put out. And its paying hell on my imposter syndrome, truthfully. I feel like I scammed those closest to me who bought copies, knowing that I don’t feel like the book was ready.
Did I rush it because I feel like I should have published something before now? Maybe. How do people deal with this?
I think traditional publishing eliminates some of this feeling as there are so many more eyes on the manuscript before it’s available for purchasing, maybe one day I’ll know for sure but as of now, I’m just struggling to feel like I’m not a fraud.
Anyone out there feeling like this? I know I can’t be the only one… Maybe I am…
Signed,
A Newly Published Author
Nel Blake 